Tribal Origins

I’m here today because I want to talk to you- yeah, you -not those twenty-somethings out there, not the harried “how-I-make-organic-baby-food-while-doing-Piyo” moms, not the “stylishly greying” or “fit after 50” gals; I’m talking to all you “I’m worried all the time about my aging parents and my adult kids and my job and when the heck can I retire?” types. Is this REALLY what it looks like, to have coveted adulthood for 18 or 20 years, raised a family, pursued a career, and lived through (fill in the blank here: the death of a parent, cancer, divorce, finding myself raising grandkids…)?

It sometimes seems so futile, yet every day we get up and do whatever we do, because it’s WHO WE ARE. Raised in the fifties and sixties, now we ARE the fifties and sixties. We know the value of money, relationships, family and those oh-so-special friendships.  We want to eat right and work out, but just making it through the day is sometimes the best we’ve got. Our bodies have become unrecognizable for some unfathomable reason, and we know there was something earth-shaking in our brains just a minute ago, but can’t seem to remember it. (Wait, what was I saying? Never mind, just pour me another glass of wine.)

If you’re thinking about retirement but completely freaked out wondering whether you’ll end up a crazy cat lady sharing a bowl with Tiger, this is your place. If your stomach lurches every time you imagine life without your significant other, because that’s actually, maybe going to be a real thing sooner than you’re prepared to handle it, you’re home. If you’ve ever wondered what the heck a reverse mortgage is, anyway, but were too ashamed to ask, I’ve got you covered. If you really don’t have any aspirations to enter a senior citizen triathlon but also don’t want to break a hip during the next decade or so, you should stick around.

Really, I believe we deserve so much more credit than we are given. It doesn’t matter whether you match your nail polish to your purse or spend your days in sensible shoes because your arches fell before the ball dropped on the new millennium, you are the true backbone of our culture. You get up and show up every day, and it’s time someone appreciated you and those things that you find concerning but never bring up because you don’t want to burden others.

I got this idea while thinking about my girls. We started out as colleagues with different stories, and became best friends over “choir practices”. We’ve supported each other through sickness and health, job changes, moves, divorce, remarriage, problems with kids and with parents. We’ve laughed together, mourned together, planned and schemed together, and dreamed together. I don’t suppose we’ll ever actually get “granny huts” or race wheelchairs through the nursing home, but it’s the thought that keeps us laughing. And I wondered, what about the ladies out there who don’t have the support and advice of special friends like that? Everyone else (see paragraph 1) seems to have a special community just for them; why shouldn’t we? I’m thinking about all of these things ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I’m tired and lonely for the kind of support that only my like-minded sisters can provide. (Disclaimer: I have a husband, children and family whom I adore, but that’s not the same!).

Edited: now, in 2021, life is different yet much the same; what's new? Not much-no great epiphanies, no abs (still), no retirement. BUT, I've found a love for something that soothes me and gives me hope for a little spending cash down the road: embroidery. 

Embroidering nearly EVERYTHING, actually! 😂 I'm in love with creating special items for friends who need a one-of-a-kind gift or a hat, patch, or shirt with an expression that expresses WHO they are and what they're about. I'm not ready to go out into the wide world just yet, because I'm still at the full-time job and dealing with kids and aging parents and...life. But I'll share here so y'all can see, get ideas, and place orders if you'd like. I can do personalized items with enough lead time, and I always have a supply of my favorites-flour sack dishtowels that are both practical and expressive. Let me know how I can help!